Sunday, March 4, 2012

With Respect to Old Classics

My friend Striker and I have been discussing that it might be interesting to take old classical poems and see if we can make them new. This will be my first attempt. My criticism of myself would be that I don’t feel my language has the “heart”, but it is my first try.

This is attempted also for Pranali of Blank Verses & Invisible Lines who wrote such a beautiful sonnet in the style of  Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet #28

My letters! all dead paper, mute and white!
And yet they seem alive and quivering
Against my tremulous hands which loose the string
And let them drop down on my knee tonight.

This said—he wished to have me in his sight
Once, as a friend: this fixed a day in spring
To come and touch my hand. . . a simple thing,
Yes I wept for it—this . . the paper's light..

Said, Dear, I love thee; and I sank and quailed
As if God's future thundered on my past.
This said, I am thine—and so its ink has paled
With lying at my heart that beat too fast.

And this ... 0 Love, thy words have ill availed
If, what this said, I dared repeat at last!


Ellecee’s 2012 Version

My emails seem all advertising and spam
And then, oh my lord, I see there’s one from you
I’m almost afraid to open it,,,but then I do
I’m so nervous you would think it some exam

You say you want to see me, ask me how I am
Suggest a day next week for our debut
To sit close to me at lunch, some nice venue
I’ve wanted this so much, I pray it’s not a sham

You write, I think I love you, and I feel faint
My heart skips when I think what this could mean
I’ve wanted you so long, I’ve no restraint
How will I last the days that are between?

Your words to me so special, sweet and quaint
Let me pray I can await the day and stay serene.







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